Introduction -- Exactly who and what is your instructor? -- General principles of acing calculus -- Good and bad questions -- Are you ready? Calc prereqs -- How to handle the exam -- Lines, circles, and their friends -- Limits: you gotta have them -- Continuity, or why you shouldn't ski down discontinuous slopes -- What is the derivative: change is good -- Limit definition of the derivative: finding derivatives the hard way -- Derivatives: how to find them the easy way -- Velocity: put the pedal to the metal -- Chain rule: S&M made easy -- Graphing: how to doodle like an expert -- Maxima and minima: the bread and butter section -- Implicit differentiation: let's be oblique -- Related rates: you change, I change -- Differential: estimating your way to fame and glory -- Intermediate value theorem and mean value theorem -- Integration: doing it all backward -- Definite integral -- Modeling: from toy planes to the runway -- Exponents and logarithms: a review of all that "e" hoopla -- Doing that calc thing to exponents and logs -- Logarithmic differentiation: making the hard stuff easy -- Exponential growth and decay: rise and fall of slime -- Fancy-pants techniques of integration -- Twenty most common exam mistakes -- What's on the final?