A presidential candidate / The lecture tickets that were bought but never used / The ransom of Red Chief / from Babbitt / from Gentlemen prefer blondes / On conversation / Imperial purple / More alarms at night / The waltz / Farewell, my lovely appetizer / Simple prays a prayer / The night the old nostalgia burned down / Across the street and into the grill / The house of mirth / from The magic Christian / from How to talk dirty and influence people / The secret vice / The counterfeit secret circle member gets the message, or The asp strikes again -- The Kentucky Derby is decadent and depraved / A look at organized crime / The tax man / Letters to Einstein

A few words about breasts / Our white heritage / Better read than dead: a revised opinion / Your action line / In the morning post / Curb Carter policy discord effort threat / Vacation '58 / The laws of cartoon motion / The Tip-Top Club / Rolled in rare Bohemian onyx, then vulcanized by hand / Tough as bob war and other stuff / Corrections / Tips for women: how to have a relationships with a guy / Clinton deploys vowels to Bosnia / Shiftless little loafers / Gothic baseball / If I were in charge of the networks / Laws concerning foor and drink ; Household principles ; Lamentations of the father / The writer's life / from I ain't scared of you / Buddy, can you spare a tie? / It's so hard

What I'd say to the Martians / Your three wishes: F.A.Q. / Ask the optimist! / Awake / The pony problem / If not an apology, at least a "My bad"